Being a blogger means sharing yourself with the world, and that means lots and lots of photo shoots. The first time my boyfriend, Darius, took photos of me for the blog I had to lock myself in the bathroom so he wouldn’t see me cry. The photos themselves weren’t bad. I was standing in one of my favorite dresses against a leafy backdrop (see featured image)…but when I clicked through from picture to picture, all I could see were my flaws. My own self-ridicule brought tears to my eyes.
Poor Darius thought he had done something wrong because I lashed out at him, “You’re not even into this! You don’t care about taking pics of me. I’ll never ask you again!” Luckily, he could see right through me pretending that he had something to do with how I was feeling.
I had to take a breath, regroup, and make the choice to see past my flaws.
While it’s true that I would love to see what I look like with more toned muscles and perhaps 20 fewer pounds on my frame, I’ve realized that there is much more to a photo than what my body looks like or what it doesn’t look like.
I have begun to look at the color composition in a photograph, the general tone of the image, and what I’m saying with my facial expression. I look at the environment I’m surrounded by, the lighting, the shadows, and the general mood of the image; these are the things I focus on now.
I’m not a size two, chubby arms are in my genes, and I don’t wear foundation. It is what it is. I have accepted that I am enough. (Darius would probably argue that I’m actually more than enough, ha.)
So, I’m thankful for that sunny afternoon when I cried because of all the things I couldn’t see in those photos. That experience taught me a valuable lesson, and today I am able to accept myself as I am and see past my flaws.
xo,
Joi
Have you had an experience where you had to see past your flaws? Let me know in the comments below.
Thank you for reading this week’s Thoughtful Thursday, please join me next week for more thoughts!
