Seeing Past My Flaws
Being a blogger means sharing yourself with the world, and that means lots and lots of photo shoots. The first time my boyfriend, Darius, took photos of me for the blog I had to lock myself in the bathroom so he wouldn’t see me cry. The photos themselves weren’t bad. I was standing in one of my favorite dresses against a leafy backdrop (see featured image)…but when I clicked through from picture to picture, all I could see were my flaws. My own self-ridicule brought tears to my eyes.
Poor Darius thought he had done something wrong because I lashed out at him, “You’re not even into this! You don’t care about taking pics of me. I’ll never ask you again!” Luckily, he could see right through me pretending that he had something to do with how I was feeling.
I had to take a breath, regroup, and make the choice to see past my flaws.
While it’s true that I would love to see what I look like with more toned muscles and perhaps 20 fewer pounds on my frame, I’ve realized that there is much more to a photo than what my body looks like or what it doesn’t look like.
I have begun to look at the color composition in a photograph, the general tone of the image, and what I’m saying with my facial expression. I look at the environment I’m surrounded by, the lighting, the shadows, and the general mood of the image; these are the things I focus on now.
I’m not a size two, chubby arms are in my genes, and I don’t wear foundation. It is what it is. I have accepted that I am enough. (Darius would probably argue that I’m actually more than enough, ha.)
So, I’m thankful for that sunny afternoon when I cried because of all the things I couldn’t see in those photos. That experience taught me a valuable lesson, and today I am able to accept myself as I am and see past my flaws.
xo,
Joi
Have you had an experience where you had to see past your flaws? Let me know in the comments below.
Thank you for reading this week’s Thoughtful Thursday, please join me next week for more thoughts!
iamunbothered
August 29, 2017 at 9:02 pmExcept you are a model can you be size 2 and flawless when your pictures are photoshopped so keep your head up. There are enough humans like you and me who are can’t do without those guilty pleasures. Thanks for posting.
leahhhh13
August 29, 2017 at 9:28 pmI definitely know where you are coming from. I often pick out my flaws on photos. My fiancé tells me I’m fine but in my eyes I am not. But I did come to the conclusion of accepting myself flaws and all. I mean I did push out a completely healthy baby boy.
Vanessa
August 30, 2017 at 11:28 amI found that’s the hardest. I’m still struggling with looking past my flaws. So well done to you!
Nai Elle
August 30, 2017 at 2:16 pmI really love your post. It is so hard sometimes to look past my flaws but I keep in mind that i am human and I am my own kind of beautiful
Joi-Knows-How
August 30, 2017 at 3:36 pmHey Nai, exactly. We are all perfectly imperfect and beautiful in our own ways!
Shawna
August 30, 2017 at 3:24 pm“I had to take a breath, regroup, and mame choices to see past my glaws.” This whole post os beautiful and an awesome reminder for all of us! We must love ourselves before we can properly love one another. Thank you for this!
Joi-Knows-How
August 30, 2017 at 3:35 pmHi Shawna! You’re absolutely right. Thanks so much for reading. ♥️
Talisa Garbo
August 30, 2017 at 4:23 pmI love your transparency with this post and that you’ve come to accept YOU, flaws & all. The blogging thing really opens your eyes to little things that you would’ve not had an issue with before, and it almost turns into a sort of obsession and comparison game. It’s so important to step back and remember that after all of it’s said and done, NONE of us is perfect.
Joi-Knows-How
August 30, 2017 at 5:22 pmHi Talisa,
You are spot on. The “comparison game” as you’ve called it, is so toxic! Luckily I’ve found the blogging community to be wildly supportive…but that doesn’t stop my inner comparison mode from time to time. It’s all a process. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and share your thoughts. xo